Three Things We Fundamentally Should Live For

I believe that all of us are here for a reason. For some of us, a reason that we yet to discover. Are we supposed to solve climate change? Are we supposed to record the best moments of human history? Are we supposed to serve people dish every night at a ghetto? While we do not know for sure, I truly think that there are three things that we fundamentally should live for. We might already do this unknowingly or do it in a different term that I name it here, but it is still what it is. 

1. Adding value to people's lives

We are here to add value to the lives around us. We help the less educated to become somewhat more educated. We donate a (little) portion of our paycheck to the needy so that they may buy what they need to survive. We held out our hands and borrow our shoulders to our family and friends whenever they need it. We go out of our comfort zone in order to make someone else's life better. All these adds values to someone's life and it does make a positive impact on them shall they do not take it for granted.

2. Creating memories with people

Gatherings are there for many reasons, to create a memory that we one day could talk about it someday in the future. It is an indicator to show that we spend some of our time to and for each other because we care one another. If you do not truly see the aim of the gathering, you might as well as be at some other place that you find fit. I guess more often than not some find gatherings to be a pain in the ass because they are required to socialize whereas socialize is the way to create memories. After all, memories are the ones that we have when we are at our dying bed. Probably too late to say "I wish I had been there with you guys" when you are minutes away from death. Of course, there are still many other ways to create memories with people!

3. Bringing positive change to the world

"They (our fathers) left the world worse than they found it. We're going to leave the world better than we found it." - Daenerys Targaryen

Pretty much sums it all. If all of us (all 7.4 billion of us) makes a little positive impact to one another, the world would be a better place. Pass the good deed on. The world is undeniably better than when our fathers were born into it if you count the consequences of globalization and technology out. We now have excellent health care, which increased the life expectancy of the human race by at least half (Wikipedia). It is expected to increase in years to come.

In most part of the world, we are able to live as a multicultural society without causing a tension that is far too great to trigger a massive massacre. On another note, slavery has ended as well. That is one of the positive change that I feel is very important for the world.

Do whatever you do that you feel that the world would be a better place if you do it. However, if it displeases a majority of people, it is best to consider the consequences and unwanted repercussions. We can't do whatever we want, however it may contradict the first sentence.

X

Soon everyone will have their own life, getting that job that they always wanted or needed, building new relationships, forming a tie with their other half, have babies and finally taking care of them. Along the way, we just stay together because we allow ourselves to indulge in the fact that we are friends since school. We might forget how we truly get to know each other, the feeling of saying hi the first time, how we bonded, how we work together as a team, how we learn boring subjects together, manage clubs together, spraying water and flour after party and confessing for the first time. I always hope that the reason that still keep us together in five or ten years time isn't because we are in the same Whatsapp group that everyone mute it (FYI, I do not mute it). 

At the end of the day, I value my friends more than I should even though I show like I don't care some of the time. I want to keep them together, but not everyone shares my mission. I do agree that our group is pretty selective and I apologize for what it is. Most of the times we only celebrate certain person's birthday and buys them present. I do not like this, but it happens every year. It is only logical that you feel less attached to the group that does not celebrate you. Naturally, you will find that one group that finds you interesting and shows that they appreciate you by celebrating your birthday with you (not the only way, but one of the way). Although no one explicitly said this before, but somehow it is predictable. 

I have so much of bad deeds done in the past I couldn't forgive myself. I broke my friend's relationship. I probably changed the course of my friend's love life. To think about what would happen if I didn't do what I did makes me feel bad. I often think myself as the bad guy ever since. I don't deserve, yet the heart yearns. I don't deserve, yet the heart cannot stop wanting. Somehow somewhat I uttered and made some stupid mistakes again and stabbed each of us with a double-edged sword. Further deepening the wounds that are already there, if not forming new ones. 

There are many reasons why I don't try to form a new romantic relationship. One being afraid of hurting others again. Another being it's hard to forget. Yes, the brain and the body seemed so inclined when you see your friends are already starting to dwell themselves in the love pond. I feel like jumping onto the bandwagon too. It would be a lie if I say I don't find some attractive in my new environment, and I did make some effort but I ended it soon after. I don't really think I am ready for any of those again. Sometimes when I am alone I remind myself of what kind of person I am and reinforce the idea of keeping the double-edged sword at bay. Of course, I don't consider myself decent looking so it might be a reason why I am not in a relationship. 

Back to home and another hardship seems to surface itself. I think that part of the reason it surfaced is because of my action as well. My mom has been glue-sticked to her iPhone 6 Plus whenever she has the time. She seems to ignore what is most important to her (I can't critisize her much because this is the 21st century and I do that all the time as well). What's worse is that I feel like her relationship with my father is worsening as the days pass. Part of it I feel like it is her fault, but as a family, there is not truly one person at fault. We all share the responsibility. I ought to do something before something bad happens. I can't imagine the worse outcome of this to us. I never thought that it could happen to us, but I am beginning to think that there is a possibility that it will happen. You know what I am talking about. 

On a positive note, I am probably going to Osaka, Japan, coming September for one semester for the student exchange programme. When I say probably, I mean 90%. I am already accepted to the university as an exchange student, but currently I am looking for the confirmation for the JASSO scholarship. That is really the main reason why we applied to go. Looking to see some news from the international body in Kansai University real soon. We have to apply visa, afterall. 

Other than that, my three friends are coming back from the UK. That ought to look forward too.  I am happy to see them coming back after a year (aprox a year). Some gatherings felt lacking without them. Afterall, I went through the secondary school with them so missing them would be normal. Can't wait for our trip to Cameron. 

CL

End of Semester 2

Today marks the last day of my lecture of my third semester for my degree. Finally there is time for sigh of relief. I have been struggling a little this semester, especially after the end of TRIUMP. When you think that you'll be free after the end of a certain event, you are wrong. I was wrong. Well, it was the end for some of the members but for the higher committees there are still paperworks and followups to be done. Wrapping up is a tedious process, especially given that you have put all your effort in the event that you don't feel like doing anything at all after the end of it. Combine that together with the responsibility for other smaller events in my organisation makes me both physically and mentally exhausted. I must admit that I cannot give my full commitment to my other member's event. I'm sorry for that. 

I was lucky to be offered an opportunity to go to Italy for a mobility programme called Erasmus+ next semeser. This opportunity came by when I was executing TRIUMP. Some said I used "connections" and I don't really deny that, but I relied on my own ability to secure that second interview. The "connection" that I used were merely used to get into the interview. Anyhow, there seems to be no news from the International Office of my university upon being announced as one of the students that will participate in this programme (there will be only two from my university). I keep my fingers crossed and hope that I may go. One is for the cultural exchange, two is that I get to meet my three friends who are studying in the UK. I'm thinking it must be fun to travel together in one of the European Countries. They are excited and so was I (though some of them seem more excited than I do). My family is happy and I hope I won't disappoint them if somehow somewhat this mobility programme got delayed or worse, cancelled. One of my friend already was given false hope as he was chosen for a mobility programme to Indonesia only to find out later that it wasn't confirmed. He already told his family and his family already getting ready to send him. Tragic, really, and sad. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

Anyway, all assignments, projects (the hell with them) and reports have been done and sent for grading, what is left now is only the final exam which is another 40% of the final equation. I'm fairly confident in two out of the four papers I am gonna sit. One of them, Mechanical Vibration is hell and I have no fucking idea how I am gonna manage that. Another paper, Fluid Mechanics 2 is not too bad, but I kinda fucked up my first test and on the verge of losing my solid A. Anyway I'll do my best, as always and hope for the best. Maybe that is the most important aspect in any endeavours. I tend to forget that but I have kept reminding myself ever since.

That has been it, a short and rather messy update. 

Bye.