2017 in a post

If there was a colour to describe the year of 2017, it's definitely red. There have been many things happened to me in 2017 that relates to the colour red. Let's start from the early of the year.

8 February 2017

This day was the day I came back from Japan after spending a full five months there as an exchange student. I was given the opportunity to follow this exchange programme following the unjust selection of students to another exchange programme to Padova, Italy. The reason of why I wasn't selected by the VC was never disclosed, but it would seemed that my skin colour had something to do with it. Nevertheless, I can proudly say that that decision turned out to be life-changing for me. 

Following the exchange programme allowed me to realize my dream of going to Japan and experiencing the culture there. It was my first time experiencing fall/autumn and winter. Spending months there in dry and cold weather makes you appreciate the hot and humid weather here in Malaysia. Still, I'd like to go back just to see my breath in the cold weather. 

I also had met a bunch of amazing, funny, brilliant and sporting friends. Knowing them and spending time with them changed my perception a lot. I began to enjoy more of what is happening in the 'now'. I'll never forget the days I spent making curry, drinking and skating in the park late at a freezing night. It was fun times, really fun times. The sad thing is when you realized that you can never bring those times back. The squad won't be the same because everyone else is from a different timezone. However, the memories of it was what made it sweet. Deep down, I know that I will meet this bunch someday. 

I miss Japan a lot. The streets. The people. Ramen. Oh my god, the delicious hot ramen on a cold night. The university. Simply walking down the streets late afternoon to take the train back to the dorm is what I missed the most. I can enjoy being with myself, listening to my Spotify, looking at stores as I walk by, waiting for the train, strolling through the park. That's pure bliss that I did learn to enjoy back then. I was always glad that I can walk back to the dorm peacefully by myself. I do hope that I can go back into doing that again. 

20 July 2017

I was at the office where I was interning. I remember it was around 10am when I received the news that I pass Stage 4 of my cadet pilot programme. Stage 4 was the most crucial stage because its the last (before medical and loan) and the hardest out of all. I remember my hand shakes when I opened the email to check if I really did pass. I whatsapped my parents and told them to prepare the money for my flight school to indicate that I've passed Stage 4. I was happy beyond words at this point. When I returned to my seat, I told my colleagues about it and they congratulated me and asked more questions about what's gonna happen after this et cetera. 

16 August 2017

After passing my medical, we went to Asian Aviation Centre of Excellence (AACE) which is the training grounds for AirAsia's Allstars for a loan briefing. I couldn't believe that it was happening. I thought of it, dreamt of it, wonder about it and now it's finally happening in front of my eyes. When we arrived, there was a queue already waiting to have their names called in front of the hall. I greeted some of my friends, waited and then my name was called. They gave me one AirAsia's signature red cap and an AirAsia Allstar's file containing my offer letter inside. At this point, I know this is real although its still very hard to believe. I checked again the content twice to make sure the name and address are mine. It was a day worth remembering. 

31 August 2017

That morning I went to Dataran Merdeka to watch my very first Merdeka parade. I've never been into any parade before partly because my parents were never really into these patriotic stuffs. I remember when I was there I received an email which I thought was another promotional email from one of the newsletter I subscribed to. To my surprise, it was an email from TEDx saying that my license to host a TEDx event has been approved! I was so happy because this meant a lot to me. I tried applying once before but was unsuccessful. This time I gathered a team of brilliant minds to brainstorm together with me and boy did it bear good fruit. I quickly spill the beans to my team members and I remember one of my friend was in disbelief simply because we were under the impression that we need an interview prior to license approval. That was how it went the first time. I guess this time our application was very strong that they saw we are serious about this? 

This meant that we have more work to be done moving forward and work we did. We go full throttle when the semester came up. This was a first for all of us and we realized that there were many guidelines and rules and regulations that we need to read, understand and adhere. We need to keep both TEDx and UMP side in line with what we want to do and most importantly can do. 

Many people didn't know, but I had the notion of organizing an TEDx event in UMP long ago. Probably when I was in my 1st or 2nd year in degree (that's back in 2014 and 2015). I wanted to bring the TED experience to the students here in UMP. I want them to feel what I felt when I went to my first TEDx event. I know that most of the students here couldn't go to a TEDx event partly due to location and budget constraints. This is why I poured my efforts into bridging that gap. I organized and co-organized trips to two TEDx events in KL, trying to bring students there to experience it. Now, I can finally bring the experience to them. I also wanted to encourage students to think bigger by introducing speakers with ideas worth spreading. When I attend TEDx events, I am exposed to all these great people that have all these great ideas. All these great people are actually just normal people like me. This made me realized that someone as normal (or not normal, haha) as me can achieve something as big as them. It shifted my perspective a lot. Anyone can do anything if they put their mind and heart into it. 

16 September 2017

Our team had our first physical meeting on this day as it was a Saturday, plus it was a holiday. The meeting was to start at 330pm but I remember we started a little early because everyone arrived early. We went through what we had to talk, planned out what we need to do and distributed tasks to each member. It went very smooth and towards the end of the meeting I could see this working very well. Too damn well. We went to grab dinner after the meeting because it was a good opportunity to bond with everyone as some of them are meeting for the first time. It was a chill dinner and we talked and laughed. When the dinner was over, I looked over my watch and thought we probably should go already because it's an hour drive back to my campus. I was also somewhat anxious to go back because I was kind of exhausted already. I called the shot to leave and everyone moved to the counter to pay. 

When it was time to part ways, we said goodbye to two of my friends as they were driving back the another campus which was 5 mins away. Little did I know, for one of my friends it was goodbye for good. I regret that I was not thoughtful and observant enough. There were many 'if onlys' after this accident but nothing said could have changed what happened that night. It will forever be my biggest regret. 

8 October 2017

This day was the day, I was given the opportunity to love someone. We had went through a lot to come to this stage and that whatever happens going forward, I think we are able to go through things together. We were close prior to being in a relationship together and I believe this had helped us a lot in the transition. Switching from a single life to now a couple life do have some adjusting to do. There isn't just 'you' to think of when deciding certain things, its 'us' now. More responsibility to bear (not that I am complaining at all). Making more time for each other. Understanding one another even more. Love is great when times are easy but what tests you and your partner is when times get hard. It is happy when things are at its peak, but when things plummet down to the drain, it is a test to see how much you love one another. And this is what I hope to be able to go through these series of endless tests with her.


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Now, being a less than 12 hours away till 2018, I wonder what 2018 holds for me? I hope to enter the Malaysian Flying  Academy (MFA) in the July intake. That will be my biggest wish for 2018. I can finish my degree in June and have a short break before enrolling in MFA. I am really really really looking forward to it. Until then, I am just gonna concentrate of all the things I need to complete.

Okay so how all these relate to the colour red? If you think about it, all of them does. Japan has the red sun in the middle of the flag. Airasia's theme colour is red. TED's colour is also red. Blood is red. Love is red as well. I wonder what colour I could relate to next year...

Till then, thanks 2017. It's really been a roller coaster ride. 

For Malaysia

Two days ago, I met my lecturer who just came back from the UK about a month ago. We were pretty close because she taught us few subjects during our diploma times and she was very friendly to us. We talked about a lot of things, including her time at Oxford, her family, her PhD, my trip to Japan and things about our university. 

She then asked me what do I think about working overseas. I believe I have told some of my friends about this. I feel compelled to stay in Malaysia to contribute my skill and knowledge in making Malaysia a better place. I know that working overseas might reward me with a better life, with a higher currency rate and all, but my heart says that I belong here. 

My lecturer said "I told many people about this and many people don't share the same sentiment as I do". She agreed to my thoughts and said a colleague of hers have always wanted to come back (from studying overseas) but the environment don't seem conducive/convincing enough. Our currency is falling. Expenses are rising. Political scenes are a mess. There is a big dilemma when making the decision to come back. 

Personally, I believe that if many of us think that way then the talent pool will just keep decreasing and decreasing till there is no one left. No matter how green the grass is on the other side, I feel that we should always go back to our roots. Malaysia is my roots., and we are all responsible to make sure the roots grow deep.

If everyone leaves when things seem to grow difficult, then who's gonna make things better? Are we really just gonna let the foreigners mow our own lawn? Of course not! We should be the one taking care of our own backyard. Are we going to let the dirty politicians keep ruling our country? No! Don't let those fools continue to deteriorate our country, take charge and make the change ourselves! 

This is what I think. I feel that I should write this out so that Malaysians would think twice before moving overseas.

あなたがそこにただいるだけ

あなたがそこにただいるだけでその場の空気があかるくなる。あなたがそこにただいるだけでみんなのこころがやすらぐ。そんなあなたにわたしもなりたい。

Just being there, you brighten the atmosphere.

Just being there, you bring peace of mind to others.

It is you that I want to be.

あなたのこころがきれいだからなんでもきれいにみえるんだなあ

あなたのこころがきれいだからなんでもきれいにみえるんだなあ

Because your heart is beautiful, everything you see is beautiful too.

しあわせはいつもじぶんのこころがきめる

しあわせはいつもじぶんのこころがきめる

Happiness is always decided by one's own heart.

365 Days, 365 Mistakes

This will be my first post while I am in Japan being in a student exchange programme. I'm having a lot of fun here, although I kinda miss my life in university back in Malaysia. I miss being able to talk and be crazy with some of my bunch of friends. I do talk and be crazy with my newly found friends here too, but it is a different kind of feeling. I guess human are just shitty all the time, they always want something different when the best has already been presented right in front of their eyes. 

It has been a little bit more than two months now in Osaka. Starting to get used to people here. Actually grew fond of a few people that I find comfort with. People that know me should know that I am a slow goer when it comes to people. I don't get attached to people real quick. But when I do, I feel more comfortable talking and making jokes with them. Well but again, not everyone would understand my jokes.

I am very bad in Japanese. I am not sure why I didn't want to speak more often with people in Japanese. Maybe it is that look that I get when I try very hard to understand what they are talking but I tend to look like a super retard deciphering their message. Maybe it is my own ego, stopping myself from looking like a fool when trying to learn a new language. Ugh. 

Sometimes I give up entirely and just say わからない, which means I don't understand, hoping that they would then speak English with me. It sucks. However, my reading and writing are slightly better than my speaking ability. But that wouldn't help me to commute my way in Japan effectively. Which sucks again. 

Seeing and knowing so many people here, all across the world made me feel that there is so much to the world than the people I know my entire life. There are so much of kindness and love that I don't see displayed before. There are so many cultures and contexts that I do not understand but am trying to. It is constantly a trial and error with some of my friends here. Sometimes I get what they mean, some other times I don't. But I do try my best to get along.

While I am still here in Japan, I hope to give my very best to the people here and add value to their life as well. It is important to leave a deep, lasting memory for them as those are the priceless valuables. The drinking parties that we have, the parties RA organized, the movies we watched, the skating crews, the curry nights and studying nights. It all means a lot to me and I hope that I will remember them forever. 

I do sincerely hope that I will continue to enjoy and appreciate every second I have left here and with my friends. Maybe the title don't fit the overall context of this blog, but it doesn't matter because it is what I want to say. That we make mistakes every day but it is okay. Probably till the day we die that we will still continue to make mistakes. 

Comparing and Competing

As an Asian, we take pride in being good in a lot of things. One good example is how good we are in Mathematics and Science. Asians grabbed the five first place of the global ranking in Mathematics in which China is the first, followed by Singapore, Chinese Taipei, Hong Kong and Korea in 2013. The Westerns don't call us Asians for nothing. [Source]

While that is true, it's inevitable to see that the competition among ourselves is strong. Gruesome, even. Parents compare our grades with our peers and more often than not, they compare our talents as well. Oh, your son can play the piano? My son can too! What grade is he in? Aw, isn't he a little tad slow compared to mine. There goes more pressure for the kids. 

Since we were small, we were told that we must be number 1 in class. Don't know why, but must get number 1. We thought that that means we can get some form of rewards from our parents (maybe some cool electronics?). We study day and night, concentrate in class, go for extra classes and tuition, spend our supposedly past time to do homework and not to forget our extracurricular activities because you know, they want to make you an all-rounder. 

Nobody cares what you want. Because you're not supposed to know them. 

And because you're Asian, so you do what your Asian parents told you to. 

So the habit of comparing ourselves with our peers and compete to become the best unnoticeably embedded in our minds and souls. Whenever there is some form of interaction, there shall be some form of competition. Taking the same tests? Starts comparing our scores. Handing in exercises? Who got the highest marks? 

I'm not trying to discourage competition. Competition is good. It ensures the species survives. Over-complacent will only retard the advancement of a certain species and/or person. Competition is also good because it drives prices down. But when people starts comparing every single form of assessment or even lives, it gets downright annoying. 

Wake up. No one is supposed to be good at everything. The purpose of school is to discover what you are good at, not how good you can at everything. We are giving the schools a wrong definition. If you're good at Literature, you should study them and create poetry to inspire and be the next Shakespeare. If you're good at Biology, you should study them and be a meticulous surgeon to save lives. Don't just be good at everything, find something you truly have an interest in.

Maybe because we are wired this way, where being good at everything means you have a better chance of surviving thus being able to pass down your genes. Nature got to be blamed on this. Thousands of years and evolution and this somehow unavoidably printed in our DNAs already. 

If you had noticed, my favourite quote on the right hand side of the blog is from Einstein. It is as follows:

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

Seem pretty straight forward to me. Don't compare yourself with others because you do not share the same life and talents as them. Create your own path. Shed off the mentality of comparing unnecessarily. Or try.

For anyone, stop judging people solely from what the society picks as a norm. Ubiquitous is too mainstream. Be weird, be uncanny, be enigmatic and be unpredictable. Most importantly, be yourself, because if you do not, no one else will. 

Fill in the some of the points that I did not expand with more thoughts. That way you find it more personal and be able to fit my idea somewhere inside of you. Everyone has different opinions, but it shouldn't sway from the original intended intention. 

Disclaimer: Not everyone shares the same experience that I described above. I am aware of this. And you should know too. No one in the world shares the exact same experience as anyone does. Only a certain groups does. So anything, really, is up to own's interpretation.

Three Things We Fundamentally Should Live For

I believe that all of us are here for a reason. For some of us, a reason that we yet to discover. Are we supposed to solve climate change? Are we supposed to record the best moments of human history? Are we supposed to serve people dish every night at a ghetto? While we do not know for sure, I truly think that there are three things that we fundamentally should live for. We might already do this unknowingly or do it in a different term that I name it here, but it is still what it is. 

1. Adding value to people's lives

We are here to add value to the lives around us. We help the less educated to become somewhat more educated. We donate a (little) portion of our paycheck to the needy so that they may buy what they need to survive. We held out our hands and borrow our shoulders to our family and friends whenever they need it. We go out of our comfort zone in order to make someone else's life better. All these adds values to someone's life and it does make a positive impact on them shall they do not take it for granted.

2. Creating memories with people

Gatherings are there for many reasons, to create a memory that we one day could talk about it someday in the future. It is an indicator to show that we spend some of our time to and for each other because we care one another. If you do not truly see the aim of the gathering, you might as well as be at some other place that you find fit. I guess more often than not some find gatherings to be a pain in the ass because they are required to socialize whereas socialize is the way to create memories. After all, memories are the ones that we have when we are at our dying bed. Probably too late to say "I wish I had been there with you guys" when you are minutes away from death. Of course, there are still many other ways to create memories with people!

3. Bringing positive change to the world

"They (our fathers) left the world worse than they found it. We're going to leave the world better than we found it." - Daenerys Targaryen

Pretty much sums it all. If all of us (all 7.4 billion of us) makes a little positive impact to one another, the world would be a better place. Pass the good deed on. The world is undeniably better than when our fathers were born into it if you count the consequences of globalization and technology out. We now have excellent health care, which increased the life expectancy of the human race by at least half (Wikipedia). It is expected to increase in years to come.

In most part of the world, we are able to live as a multicultural society without causing a tension that is far too great to trigger a massive massacre. On another note, slavery has ended as well. That is one of the positive change that I feel is very important for the world.

Do whatever you do that you feel that the world would be a better place if you do it. However, if it displeases a majority of people, it is best to consider the consequences and unwanted repercussions. We can't do whatever we want, however it may contradict the first sentence.

X

Soon everyone will have their own life, getting that job that they always wanted or needed, building new relationships, forming a tie with their other half, have babies and finally taking care of them. Along the way, we just stay together because we allow ourselves to indulge in the fact that we are friends since school. We might forget how we truly get to know each other, the feeling of saying hi the first time, how we bonded, how we work together as a team, how we learn boring subjects together, manage clubs together, spraying water and flour after party and confessing for the first time. I always hope that the reason that still keep us together in five or ten years time isn't because we are in the same Whatsapp group that everyone mute it (FYI, I do not mute it). 

At the end of the day, I value my friends more than I should even though I show like I don't care some of the time. I want to keep them together, but not everyone shares my mission. I do agree that our group is pretty selective and I apologize for what it is. Most of the times we only celebrate certain person's birthday and buys them present. I do not like this, but it happens every year. It is only logical that you feel less attached to the group that does not celebrate you. Naturally, you will find that one group that finds you interesting and shows that they appreciate you by celebrating your birthday with you (not the only way, but one of the way). Although no one explicitly said this before, but somehow it is predictable. 

I have so much of bad deeds done in the past I couldn't forgive myself. I broke my friend's relationship. I probably changed the course of my friend's love life. To think about what would happen if I didn't do what I did makes me feel bad. I often think myself as the bad guy ever since. I don't deserve, yet the heart yearns. I don't deserve, yet the heart cannot stop wanting. Somehow somewhat I uttered and made some stupid mistakes again and stabbed each of us with a double-edged sword. Further deepening the wounds that are already there, if not forming new ones. 

There are many reasons why I don't try to form a new romantic relationship. One being afraid of hurting others again. Another being it's hard to forget. Yes, the brain and the body seemed so inclined when you see your friends are already starting to dwell themselves in the love pond. I feel like jumping onto the bandwagon too. It would be a lie if I say I don't find some attractive in my new environment, and I did make some effort but I ended it soon after. I don't really think I am ready for any of those again. Sometimes when I am alone I remind myself of what kind of person I am and reinforce the idea of keeping the double-edged sword at bay. Of course, I don't consider myself decent looking so it might be a reason why I am not in a relationship. 

Back to home and another hardship seems to surface itself. I think that part of the reason it surfaced is because of my action as well. My mom has been glue-sticked to her iPhone 6 Plus whenever she has the time. She seems to ignore what is most important to her (I can't critisize her much because this is the 21st century and I do that all the time as well). What's worse is that I feel like her relationship with my father is worsening as the days pass. Part of it I feel like it is her fault, but as a family, there is not truly one person at fault. We all share the responsibility. I ought to do something before something bad happens. I can't imagine the worse outcome of this to us. I never thought that it could happen to us, but I am beginning to think that there is a possibility that it will happen. You know what I am talking about. 

On a positive note, I am probably going to Osaka, Japan, coming September for one semester for the student exchange programme. When I say probably, I mean 90%. I am already accepted to the university as an exchange student, but currently I am looking for the confirmation for the JASSO scholarship. That is really the main reason why we applied to go. Looking to see some news from the international body in Kansai University real soon. We have to apply visa, afterall. 

Other than that, my three friends are coming back from the UK. That ought to look forward too.  I am happy to see them coming back after a year (aprox a year). Some gatherings felt lacking without them. Afterall, I went through the secondary school with them so missing them would be normal. Can't wait for our trip to Cameron. 

CL

End of Semester 2

Today marks the last day of my lecture of my third semester for my degree. Finally there is time for sigh of relief. I have been struggling a little this semester, especially after the end of TRIUMP. When you think that you'll be free after the end of a certain event, you are wrong. I was wrong. Well, it was the end for some of the members but for the higher committees there are still paperworks and followups to be done. Wrapping up is a tedious process, especially given that you have put all your effort in the event that you don't feel like doing anything at all after the end of it. Combine that together with the responsibility for other smaller events in my organisation makes me both physically and mentally exhausted. I must admit that I cannot give my full commitment to my other member's event. I'm sorry for that. 

I was lucky to be offered an opportunity to go to Italy for a mobility programme called Erasmus+ next semeser. This opportunity came by when I was executing TRIUMP. Some said I used "connections" and I don't really deny that, but I relied on my own ability to secure that second interview. The "connection" that I used were merely used to get into the interview. Anyhow, there seems to be no news from the International Office of my university upon being announced as one of the students that will participate in this programme (there will be only two from my university). I keep my fingers crossed and hope that I may go. One is for the cultural exchange, two is that I get to meet my three friends who are studying in the UK. I'm thinking it must be fun to travel together in one of the European Countries. They are excited and so was I (though some of them seem more excited than I do). My family is happy and I hope I won't disappoint them if somehow somewhat this mobility programme got delayed or worse, cancelled. One of my friend already was given false hope as he was chosen for a mobility programme to Indonesia only to find out later that it wasn't confirmed. He already told his family and his family already getting ready to send him. Tragic, really, and sad. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

Anyway, all assignments, projects (the hell with them) and reports have been done and sent for grading, what is left now is only the final exam which is another 40% of the final equation. I'm fairly confident in two out of the four papers I am gonna sit. One of them, Mechanical Vibration is hell and I have no fucking idea how I am gonna manage that. Another paper, Fluid Mechanics 2 is not too bad, but I kinda fucked up my first test and on the verge of losing my solid A. Anyway I'll do my best, as always and hope for the best. Maybe that is the most important aspect in any endeavours. I tend to forget that but I have kept reminding myself ever since.

That has been it, a short and rather messy update. 

Bye. 

10 Things I Found Out In Japan

As some of you know, I went to Japan last week for a 8 days 7 night trip with couple of my friends. We landed at Haneda, Tokyo and toured around Tokyo for one day before heading off to Hiroshima, the land of the atomic bombing site. We stayed there for a day before departing towards our two days trip in Osaka, the city where Universal Studios Japan lies. After having fun at USJ we moved our asses to Kyoto where the famous Fushimi Inari Shrine with thousands of torii gates at (you should google what torii gate is). As our flight back to Kuala Lumpur also departs from Haneda, we then continued our journey back to Tokyo for another night to pick up some souvenirs and shopping. It is quite packed and there was a lot of leg work but it was all well worth it for me. 

I discovered 10 things that I learnt from Japan. Actually there's more, but these 10 are the prominent ones that some might find it peculiar enough as it isn't really found or practised in Malaysia. Without further ado, let's begin the list!

1. (Almost) Everything Is Automatic

Where's the handle?

Source: http://datab.us/

From the standing pee bowl located in the men's lavatory to the tap water to doors. You can almost find them to be lacking our usual push/pull handle to flush the bowl. Don't fret because I was quite lost too the first time but eventually you will know that it will flush automatically once the sensor detects that you are leaving. You'll be happy to find the sensor operated tap is almost in every public toilet. We do have them here in Malaysia, but its not everywhere. Pretty cool right? Yeah,  the water was literally pretty cold too because it was winter. 

2. (Almost) Every toilet has toilet paper!

You lao sai? Use Hiroshima's toilet roll! 100% radioactive-free

No joke. The staff constantly replenish the toilets with this godly tool. You have less to worry about stomach suddenly emergency call. Besides, their Western toilet cubicle (yes, they have Western and Japanese type cubicle) have the electronic type bowl which you can press to have a jet water clean your butt hole. Honestly, it is quite weird. You can also adjust the water pressure and temperature! 

3. English is below par. 

The level of English proficiency is worrying. They might understand you but not be able to converse properly. Best to learn some proper Japanese or bring someone who knows Japanese language well along your trip. However, there will be 1 in every 10 Japanese who knows how to speak English. We met a few who can speak English quite okay. Chances of finding English-speaking Japanese is higher in international branded outlets like Nike or Tesla (hehe). 

4. Stores have artificial food displayed outside

Photo from wikipedia

They are so real you'd want to dive in and eat them straight away. Common sightings in shopping malls and food street.

5. Pretty girls everywhere

Nuff' said, the number of pretty girls I saw in Tokyo exceed the total number of pretty girls I saw in KL on any particular visit. No joke. Even though they wore makeup, they are so pretty that you would stare at them to have a gaze at those belles.

6. Amazing toilet reservoir!

First you pull the lever to flush your bowl.

Then the reservoir will be filled by the water-tap, and you can wash your hand with it! The water will flow back into the reservoir. Damn water efficient this one. BANZAI!!!

7. Politeness is no joke

We all know that Japanese are known for their politeness and how respectful they are towards others. This particular case is so extraordinary I had to write it up in this list. In my bullet train rides, once the ticketing staff walks from the back of the carriage to the front of the carriage, he would turn 180 degrees and bow to the passengers before proceeding to the carriage in front of us. Talk about being respectful! This is a whole new level!!! *I'm sorry if you can't imagine it, I didn't take a video of it because I was beaten down and slept most of the time in the bullet train*

8. Rubbish bins are segregated

Almost all of them are like this. Combustibles or non-combustibles? Plastic? They even have this in their fast-food restaurants! Talk about recycling... You have some hard time determining where your disposal should be in. Great effort, Japan.

9. Paying bill through "board"

I don't know the particular term/word for this, but they practice this everywhere though only strictly emphasized in some shops, namely the Starbucks in Namba. They don't take the money that you hand to them directly, they will ask you to put it on a board like this one below (example only), only then they will accept it. The staff at Starbucks were very insistent on this. Not sure why though...

10. First come first sit!

We traveled a lot by train, and I saw that the culture of giving up their seat for their elders is not commonly sighted (or maybe we coincidentally didn't saw them). Most of them grabbed seats whenever they found it and sit on it. Some elders sat while some stood. Probably they are trying to train their body... but I may be wrong. 

And on Fridays and Saturdays, you'd smell the scent of alcohol in the train especially at night. They would drink after their working hours. I guess that's just one of the ways they reward themselves after a week of tiresome work. 

______________________________________________________

I was supposed to finish this before my semester starts but end up I procrastinated and left it to rot. Suddenly found the mood to finish this up so that I could share with others what I found out in Japan. Of course, there are many other trivial things that I didn't write it down... and I probably forgot some of them but Japan is really an interesting place to visit. I'll be sure to visit Japan again in the near future if my wallet allows me to. I thought of really migrating there though, but I missed Malaysian food just after a week.... Maybe next time =)

Wrapping it up 2

I never really did gave my first post a second look because its really just a rant. I was partially out of my mind while writing that post, though it is not entirely untrue. There were some typos that really can give the wrong meaning. I don't really want to correct it, so let's just leave it there.

I didn't mention that I joined my faculty club as the second vice president (yeah, SECOND) in 2015. Truthfully, there was no second vice president ever in the club before. The higher committees of the last term only did made up that post in order to keep me in the club so that I can organize the competition. The competition that I have been writing about in the last couple of posts. It's no longer national though, we only narrowed it down to selecting few universities that we want to invite rather than having it open. Lots of things happen, probably better this way. We'll aim higher next year. 

I come to know a lot of people while holding my post. Some of those I knew them before but never really did made friends with them. Others were new friends. We collaborated with another club so I get to talk to many of them. It's an incredible experience so far. I'm starting to learn what managing people looks like and how selecting good team is actually very very important. I'm no natural  leader, I admit. Personally, I would do everything by my own, but I simply can't in this case. Time is one of the constraints. But I am trying. I try hard to distribute work and make sure to follow up. However, it doesn't always ends up meeting my expectations (people postponing and stuff). I absorb everything and try to make mistakes and learn. Tbh, the most important lesson I've learned so far is to gather a group of people that you can trust and rely on. I've already seen a few that I can rely on, and possibly in my future activities, I will include them in my committee. My vision isn't just until the competition. 

Most of the time I am afraid how the competition will end up. In my mind, there is a ninety percent chance that it will flop. I can think of a million things going wrong on that day itself. That sense of fear consumes me sometimes makes me work harder, but other times it makes me procrastinate even more. It is so scary. There were times where I think back and ask myself can I take everything back? If I did, I wouldn't be in my faculty club as I am now and I wouldn't get to make friends with so many people. Because obviously I cannot reverse time, eventually the thought wears off and reality kicks in. The competition in on!

Honestly, I have big plans that I want to execute in my university. After this competition, I plan to organize an TEDx university event at my university, of course. I had the thought since last year after seeing UTP did theirs. I figure if they can do it, we can too (this thought actually led me to organize a trip to KL to attend TEDxYOUTH@KL 2015 where I brought 36+- people there). I've sent my application last week to TED and still waiting for their response. They said it will take up to 8 weeks. I still have time. The intended date is in November. 

I am actually making myself stepping into the dark abyss because obviously I have never organized such big events myself. Learning to run before walking is truly a devastating experience but since I am already running on the treadmill, might as well as keep on going. 

Uni aside. I realized how ungrateful I was saying my birthday celebration was sucky. I actually didn't mean to say that I did not have a grand celebration or something. It's just that I wished everyone was present. It is my greatest desire to see my friends gather around, having fun, chilling and just talking and laughing. Those are the days that I cherish most, and are mostly a rare sight these days. It seemed somewhat cynicism took over us. Pride took over us. Prejudice. Ego. Jealousy. Insecurity. Embarrassment. The young, clueless and naive of us just faded away, consumed and eaten by our age. 

People come and people go, and I have yet to accept the latter fact. 

Wrapping it up

As 2015 is coming to an end, there is a need for me to review what I had done throughout the year that I could still remember in my mind. First off, Redang island was all about fun as I get to travel with many of my uni mates the first time. Snorkeling was amazing too. Definitely a must go again. I also did went to Ipoh the first time in my life (as I could recall). Curry mee there was awesome. Def a must try. I came to know a lot of good people through one of the event I am organising. It's called TRIUMP. Lots of amazing people and I've learned quite a lot so far despite the event being few months away. Now whenever I think about it I have this little fear inside me that it will flop. But again, I did know many good people. So its still a plus for now. Reentering UMP probably weren't the best idea, but the most plausible idea that I had with the ever increasing cost of life. It's decent uni but sometimes shitty management. I suppose each uni has their own problem. The feeling of wanting to grad early and staying for studies gets mixed around pretty badly. I want to get out quickly, but I want to enjoy uni life. I guess thats the dilemma. 4 more semesters to go. I've tried to go through assessment for AIESEC in the beginning of the semester but unfortunately I got turned down due to my personal traits and I think it's pretty true. The interviewer told me I had long term commitment issue. I have always had this 3 minute heat kind of thing where I get all excited about something but after a while later will loses interest at it altogether. It's bad. I guess that's why I don't get a gf, or maybe ik just plain bad. 21st birthday was sucky. I sure hoped better tho. But I appreciate those few that remembers and sent me wishes. Thanks for the cakes as well. Having birthday means you get to talk with your friends who hardly talk with you. It's the time you feel special for a moment because its about you. Truth is its not. Lol. I just miss everyone being together. Really miss u everyone. Why can't we just be like old times? I guess I've really fucked up the group. It's inevitable that it will fall one day. I can see many are already splitting and joining their uni cliques. They are more fun, more close and what not. I guess I'm a little bit jealous they got your attention. Few are like this. Imagining how my future will be is hard. I'm contemplating my engineering life and piloting. I don't have money for flight school and I'm literally half way down the engineering mud hold. I've thought of entrepreneurship and what not but where's the idea? It's all so dark for me.. And I don't want to wind up bring average, earning average income working 9-5 and sleeping on the weekends. No I don't. Overall 2015 has been a bit of a loss for me. But all hope is not lost. 2016 will be better. They should do. We always hoped for the best cause hoping gives us strength. The stars always gives me an amazing feeling. I've always seen that same stars every time I gaze at the skies. Really would like to share the experience with someone. Just stargazing and talk about life and stuff. No boasting, no lies, just life stories. P.S. wrote this all using my phone. Sorry if typo. Happy new year everyone!

Who Are You?

I am nobody. I felt immensely dwarf as I did not contribute anything towards the society. I am nobody. I felt empty inside of me and wonder why I am here, what is the purpose of me here. I am nobody. I could not influence anyone if I am without the identity and position I possesses. I am nobody. I could not find aim in what I do, dwelling in the amount of choices I am presented, only to find that none of it relates well to me. I am nobody. I am unsure of my future, what it holds, what it awaits me and wonder would I regret in the future for what I did and did not. I am nobody. I am among the billions trying to make their way in the world, to survive the cruel world of politics and cynicism. I am nobody. I felt lonely every night before I sleep even when there are so much other things to put thoughts on. I am nobody. I am afraid of being too close to someone and hurt them while I am still finding myself. I am nobody. I hold too much hope for myself. I am nobody. I am imperfect, unskilled, immature and unwise. I am nobody. I expected too much of myself and I am obviously overwhelmed by the task I appoint myself to take on. I am nobody. I am nobody. I am nobody. 

Life after test

Just finished all of my mid semester tests, it was still OK. I wouldn't say I did well in all, but I definitely did my best in all of them. It just seemed to me that it does not really hit me that hard knowing that I will not score high marks in all of them. Don't take me wrongly, I am not saying that I purposely did bad. It's just that it indicates room for improvement and that my understanding is insufficient. Need more to work on. I think it feels better as compared to last time where I would think about it over and over again and became frustrated with the mistakes I made. 

Coming into degree life, grades seem to be a lesser concern as compared to when I was in diploma. I came into light that CGPA does not play a big role in securing a job anymore nor it indicates a high level of wisdom directly. Wisdom is different from intellect. One who is wise is intellect, but one who is intellect may not be wise. They are sort of the same like breathing and respiration. Besides, scoring a high CGPA is kinda easy if you know the ways.

Back to me, since mid semester tests are over all that I will do now is go to classes, finish up the assignments and wait for my mid semester break! I can't wait to get some holiday, though this time going back would make me felt slightly gray. Three of my friends had gone to UK. Things aren't the same anymore. Well.... gotta move on anyway.

Next Tuesday will be our first official meeting with the committee for the national event. I try to make it an unorthodox one, so that everyone could enjoy a little bit of fun with differences. I hope that it will turn up well and everybody can work together in a team. I am still learning on how to manage people now. Lots to learn, my young self. 

Exciting times

Negative aside (from last post), I am really exciting about getting this major national event that will be going on next semester. Somehow I was appointed (more like self-elected I guess) to be the program director. It is a lot for me to manage because there is a lot of people who has far more experience and capabilities than me. I have to keep up with everyone and manage properly if I want this program to run smoothly. Many bigshots are involved and I seriously do not want to fuck this up. 

There are six months to go from now and I have not even get approval from the university to get this started. Mid semester tests are scheduling itself to hit me hard, especially Applied Thermodynamics. That will be the most killing subject of all and its next Friday. I really hope that I can cope well with that subject. 

Did I mention that this Sunday I will be having my convocation for my diploma studies? Even more things going on. But at least it will be a fun day to take all the stress off for a while. I have been in stress for a few days now. There will be times where I feel like I have an infinite number of things to do and I need to do it immediately but I do not know where to start. The national program took a huge chunk of my brain and time. I would begin doing all my assignments and home works as soon as possible. Somehow it felt like the scarcer amount of time I have, the more efficient I become. I just wish I didn't miss anything......

Gambatteh kudasai mina-san (including myself)!

What I dislike most

There are a lot of things that I can go along pretty well, but not this. I hate it when people are making me late for something. I like to be punctual. I seriously like to be punctual. I will want to go to certain event 15-30 minutes earlier than what it should be. Especially big events. And classes too, I like to be early if not on time. Punctuality means more to me than anything, and being on schedule! Therefore when someone is somehow dragging me behind I can get really pissed off to the point I will be on the verge of exploding. 

I think there is something that I need to correct. I cannot be submissive all the time, I need to fucking voice it out. Someone is really gonna get hit hard from me if I did that. I'm scared that I will be Hulk and literally destroying friendships all the way. 

Why can't people just be more proactive and punctual? If you wanna be laid back and chill, by all means please do but only do it when it affects yourself and not others. I'm tired of this shit. Seriously tired. 

Everybody, Nobody?

Hi it's been a long time since my last post. Laze and procrastination got the better of me. I'm in a new semester now, looking forward to do awesome stuff!

Anyway let's get back to the post.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of people we see everyday. From the moment you woke up, you would have saw your parents and siblings. On your way out to go to school or work, you might have encountered your favourite/annoying neighbour. Reaching school or workplace, you probably bumped into your best friends, good colleagues and acquaintances that you aren't familiar with but would greet anyway. Along the way there are people that passes you by that you do not even know them. Typical morning.

Heading towards lunchtime the clocks starts ticking to everyone's favourite number. You and your colleagues decides where the best to have lunch today, not the café that all of you visit everyday but ends up there anyway. You pitched the idea of having mamak today but was quickly rejected. Clock hits one and everyone packs. It's the café again.

You orders your favourite green tea latte from the barista you always have a hit on, named Amy. She probably has years of experience brewing coffees that you never know of because you are too busy staring at her. Again, you see lots of strangers coming to this café for lunch and not know a single thing about them, aside of them having lunch, obviously.

I'm gonna stop here, but you get the gist of it right? We see a lot of people every single day but we do not really give a damn about them unless we are attracted to them. I'm not sure whether it is normal to be like that or not, but I guess it is since we do that every single day. Hundreds pass by us and we just don't give a damn.

Everyone has a story. That auntie that sells currypuff at the train station? She probably sells food to support her children's education. Not that you care anyway, if all you do was buying currypuff from her. That waiter that served you your breakfast? He probably working part time because he has a sucky mother that does drugs and is in the rehab but gives you the best service there can be anyway. We don't care, we just want best service or complain.

Knowing that everyone has a story, whether its good or bad sometimes can make us feel smaller, in the sense of being humble. I know modesty is not really part of my forte but I'm trying okay? When we know that others are in a more dire situation than ours, we tend to feel sympathetic towards them (if you don't then... are you human?) and consciously try to make them feel better. That is good right? We need more of those in this country/century/era. People making people feeling better! Try by saying thank you the next time you meet that currypuff auntie.

A simple thank you with a look in the eyes and smile means a lot to that person!*

*Let me elaborate a little about this. Whenever we receive changes after paying for a meal, we tend to look at the changes and say thank you instead of looking at the waiter. It's common and I guess this is due to how we are raised up believing in materialism. Next time, when you receive changes look straight up at the person's eyes and smile then say thank you very much! You will receive a priceless reaction, for most of the time. Some waiter aren't accustomed to this treatment and will feel weird or act don't care at all. However I believe if everyone does this, then they would feel more comfortable knowing someone actually appreciated their effort.

Of course this does not limit to only saying thank you. We take a lot of things for granted. We care less for other people because of what we think we are. We think that we are the main character of our story simply because we see everything in our life in a first person view. Try looking at someone's point of view then you will realize that there are actually other human in this world other than yourself. So stop looking at yourself so highly and think you are so special because all of us are.

I want everyone to care for everyone, if that makes sense. I think that is the least we can do in this cynicism society.

My brain can only elaborate so far and hopefully you can get what I mean. I tend to deviate a little from what I think and what I actually wrote, but I think this piece is pretty spot on. Cheers!

This post only reflects my own opinion, and in a way to remind myself to do what I wrote in the posts. Shall you have opinion, be it concur to mine or not, do leave a comment. Let's have a healthy discussion.

Parking apps

Last year I discussed with my friends about this idea that I had in mind. It is a parking apps where you can get real time information about the parking space availability at shopping malls. How many of us drove into the parking lot only to round for fifteen minutes before parking? It is annoying and kind of a nuisance. Especially when you are in a rush. I was thinking something like paying through the apps so upon exit you just have to use your phone to checkout from the parking lot. Pretty easy, you don't even need to queue for the ticket machine.

Image by Vulcanpost

This team ParkEasy had done it. Their apps can find the spot and book it for you directly. Far more superior but requires more hardware to execute. It is a good idea and best of all it's developed by Malaysians! They are currently working on with the challenges and whatnot, but I hope to see it implemented soon! *Do click the link to read the post covered by Vulcanpost*

Actually I have started to do my own apps in January but that is just a minimal one that displays parking rates at certain shopping mall. Far from what I imagined due to my limitation of knowledge. I am not in IT so there is little exposure about apps developing. Somehow I feel that this ParkEasy is gonna be the next big thing because not only that it helps by reducing the time to find carpark, it also reduces the amount of fuel consumption. Imagine going in the parking lot and find your booked slot immediately, that is much efficient that driving around looking for an empty slot!

I am looking forward to seeing this soon, hopefully to be available in KL first (duh!).

Alternative you, same universe

//bathroom thoughts, w/o proofread.

Have you ever thought that you were different when in a different group? Surely you have thought about it and experienced it before. It's not a really weird thing to to act differently in groups that you are not familiar or uncomfortable with. It just occurred to me that when you are acting differently in a certain group (whether you are really uncomfortable or not), is that your fake self or true self? 

You're confused? I am too.

Say you are in a group of friends that you know for a very long time and there is basically nothing that you do not of each and everyone of them. Surely it is clear that one should feel absolutely comfortable with this kind of group. You can talk and do whatever you want to these "besties" and no hard feelings will be felt. Pretty cool.

Put yourself in another group of friends that you have known for maybe few months, just barely know past each other's secondary school education. You might feel some slight of awkwardness and you tend to hold on what you want to say, fearing that you might hurt other's feeling. 

It seems to everyone that we are ourselves when we are with our comfort friends and less ourselves when we are not. However. somehow I feel that in both of these situation we tend to lose a bit of ourselves, even if it means to be with friends you've known all your life. 

Consider this, you are letting go too much when you are comfortable and holding up too much when you aren't. 

How much of us, is really us? Is 90% of the you, you? Do people actually know how to differentiate the you in the comfort group and the you in the other? 

When your comfort friends saw you with your new friends, they might be like "oh how come he is so submissive? That's totally not him!", or when your new friends saw you with your comfort friends, they might be like "oh my god, I didn't know he was like that!". 

You might be thinking, surely, the comfort friends knew you more than the new friends do. Therefore they know the "real" you more than your new friends do. Most of us tend to think like that. We consider time as a quantity to measure how much someone knows us. 

Frankly, time doesn't. 

It usually involves several factors such as love, care, bonds and more. Sometimes there are friends that you knew for a long time but yet you can't fully grasp what they would do. We can't always say that we are us when we are with our comfort friends. It isn't. 

So when are we, we? 

If there is an answer to it, I would say its solitary. Solitude is a great way of expressing yourself. Without the influences of both side of the straw we can really explore the inner self and be ourselves. It is no surprise that some solitude goes a long way in discovering yourself. Before we acknowledge that others know the real us, do we really know the real us? I doubt. Sometimes I can't even figure out what I want (heart vs logic brain). You might be different though, I don't know. I'm no scientist. But one thing for sure, the real you is inside of yourself and only you can fully appreciate yourself.