CL

Ever since that day, where I hit my head on something hard (I'm not sure what's its called, but theres a piece of hardwood sticking out of that thing) I felt myself went crazy. Like, seriously crazy. I don't think I can control what I did. Theres a lot of things I never done before, I did (not the part where sexual intercourse applies, I still have my rationality). 


For the first time I went through my borders and spilled almost everything in my mind. They were meant to be secrets. Don't ask why, it just happen. There were also times I write something that I shouldn't have written. But through that, I felt that I have really let all my feelings in a go. I wanted her to know everything. But not all. 


There were also times I did something crazy. Like what happened yesterday, only a few people know or should I say only two people knew? I didn't know what I was doing, but out of curiosity and a little bit of love emotions, I did. I know I shouldn't but I did. I am sorry. I hope that you two will forgive me, no matter how disappointed you are I'm really sorry. I know perhaps saying sorry now wouldn't wipe that "data" in your mind because you will think that I knew this will come but I still do it. Trust is important, I know. Everything is too late now, I know too. 


There were also times I tend to forget something. Ever since that incident where I knock my head on that hard thingy, I felt that my memory gotten worse. I can't remember what I want to remember. For instance, I want to bring my calculator but the next day (or the next 5 minutes) I forgotten everything about it.  And when I reached my tuition centre only I remembered. 


I'm afraid this isn't the end. 


No, I'm no trying to give reason for what I did. I'm actually glad that I let go of my feelings, just in a unsuitable way.